Happy November you!! I can’t believe it’s been a little over a year since I’ve started this newsletter. I’m so happy to see you all reply to the posts, sharing your own stories, and applying some of these tricks I’ve learned over the years to your daily life. You’re the best ✨ 

As always, I have to start with a tea habit I recently picked up from my mom: she drinks lemon honey tea every morning. If you’ve been following me other newsletters, you know that lemon honey tea isn’t technically ‘tea’ since it doesn’t come from the Camellia sinensis plant but instead an ‘herbal tea’. Here’s what my mom does: Takes luke warm water, adds half a lime/lemon, 1 spoon of honey, stirs it all together and drinks it every morning.

There are so many health benefits to this concoction. Honey can help with coughs and colds, and boost your immune system. Lemon honey tea is full of nutrients like vitamin C, B complex, phosphorus, calcium, and magnesium. Honey's antioxidants can help flush out impurities from the skin, and lemons have antifungal and antibacterial properties that can help combat acne. There’s actually a ton more health benefits to this combination that I just don’t have the time to get into right now, because alas, I know you’re all really here to learn about Couple Finances 101.

Let me start by saying two things: 1) By no means am I an expert on relationship finances and 2) There is no right or wrong answer about some of these things - you just have to figure out what works for you and your partner.

I’ll share a bit about my experience throughout this article and a bit about some research I’ve done for you to help you navigate this topic at home.

🥅 Shared Financial Goal Planning

My partner and I are 3 years into our relationship and for the first time last month, we spent ~6 hours over 2 days to talk through our finances, our future goals, and planned towards what a future together could look like.

I know: it’s a very scary, very real topic. But it’s also one of the most ‘sure’ and fulfilling feeling I’ve felt to talk this all out. My only regret? That we didn’t do this sooner.

To start, a few things we learned and will improve on in the future: Instead of treating this conversation and exercise like a chore, make it fun! Go to a bar, grab your favorite drink, treat it like a date, bring a notebook and a pen, and remember to listen with empathy and understanding. Another idea (if it’s warm): to go a park and talk it out!

There are a lot of different things you’ll experience with your person and all of those big things need space for a conversation and some additional financial planning is to help you both be prepared for what’s to come.

Here are some ‘big’ things to think about together and some questions to ask yourself to prepare financially:

• Wedding: 

  • When do you want to get married?

  • Do you want a big wedding or a small/intimate wedding? Destination or local?

  • Would anyone else help with the costs or would it be 50/50 among the both of you?

  • What’s a good budget to aim for?

  • How much can you both save per month today to get married in X years?

• Kids:

  • How many kids do you both want to have, if any?

  • What about taking maternity leave and paternity leave?

  • Can we afford a nanny? What about having parents close by?

  • How do you want to raise kids? Travelling or staying in one place?

• House/Car:

  • What’s your dream car/house look like?

  • How big of a priority is it?

  • Can we save $X/month to afford this in Y years?

• Emergency Funds:

  • Are you risk-prone or risk-averse?

  • How much run-rate do you like to have?

  • What if one person were to get laid off tomorrow? What if both were? How can we support one another in case of a big emergency like that?

💸 Budgeting & Spending Together

For as long as I can remember, my parents used to have nights with my dad on his laptop going through purchases and my mom with a notebook, writing down all the expenses in the last month. It was the cutest thing ever, but it sometimes also meant that maybe no snacks for a few weeks.

This honestly is a tough topic to write about because more often than not, couples have different income levels. Sometimes, only one person is the primary earner. In our case, we’re fortunate to have a similar income, which makes it easier to share financial goals. But no matter your situation, the key is deciding together what’s essential versus nice-to-have, so you’re in sync about where to allocate your resources.

To give you an example, we decided that we both LOVE our list of ‘wants’ (travel, trying new restaurants, exploring hobbies), and to afford these, we committed to keeping our ‘needs’ expenses minimal. So instead of a larger, more luxurious apartment, we chose something smaller that meets our needs but frees up more savings for our ‘wants’ and long-term goals. Ask yourselves: what matters most to you as a couple, and how can you structure your budget to align with those priorities?

The second big question is: how do you want to split the costs?

• Proportional Splits: If one person earns more, some couples find it fair to split expenses proportionally (maybe 60/40 or 70/30, just depends!) contributing based on income rather than 50/50.

• Expense Categories: You might decide one person covers specific bills (e.g., utilities), while the other handles a different set of costs (e.g., groceries).

• Joint Account for Shared Expenses: Some couples find it easiest to create a shared account for shared expenses like rent and utilities while keeping personal accounts for individual spending.

  • For us, we like to have joint goals. No more than $100 on groceries per week and hold each other accountable if either one wants to spend more than our goal.

💵 Saving for Major Life Events

Let’s be honest, the last two years have been a rollercoaster if you look at the larger economic view. Something we’ve both talked about is this: if one of us or both of us were to get laid off for whatever reason, what’s our financial plan?

Long story short, I used to only keep 3 months of emergency saving funds in my HYSA (High Yields Savings Account), after our conversation we realized that to support 2 individuals plus our families (in case of emergency), it’s best to aim for 6 months of savings EACH. Keep in mind that an emergency fund helps couples prepare for unexpected expenses like job loss, medical emergencies, or car repairs.

As you’re creating an emergency fund, it’s important to bring back the questions/conversation from above regarding the big life events. Couples often overlook how much these big life events can cost. I would recommend for you to set up separate savings accounts for specific goals and even think about automating these transfers to make it easier.

🖇️ A few tips/tricks we’ve applied to our relationship

• Credit Card Points for Vacations: We try to treat each other to a vacation every year using accumulated points! For example last year, my partner used his saved up points for a free 5-night stay in Cabo, Mexico and I saved mine up for that entire time to use it this upcoming year for a flight tickets in Iceland.

• Goal Planning Check-Ins: Regularly revisiting our goals (both individual and shared) keeps us motivated and aligned on our progress. We share our financial wins and losses and make sure to not feel guilty sharing either. We’re both ONE team!

• Helping Each Other Out: If one of us goes over budget, we pitch in to cover essentials like groceries for the month. This is probably the most frequent/common thing we apply to our daily lives.

• Understanding Backgrounds: We’ve had open conversations about how we each grew up around money, which helps us understand each other's spending habits and perspectives.

• Disagreeing Respectfully: When one of us thinks a certain expense is unnecessary (like a new gadget or decor), we talk it out to understand each other's viewpoint.

🖇️ The best advice I can give you…

Open, honest communication is key. Every couple has their own way of managing finances, and disagreements will happen. What matters is how you navigate them—with respect, patience, and a willingness to compromise. It’s not always easy, but creating a transparent, judgment-free environment around money can make all the difference.

With that, I want to open it up to you (just reply to this email!):

• What are some things that work for you and your partner?

• What are some other topics on couple finances that you’d like me to touch on? (One I’m saving for another day is the topic of prenups)