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How To Create Strong Friendships

I'll be honest, I've never been the best at making friends but in the last 2 years, I've learned a thing or two about how to create strong bonds.

Welcome to Radhika’s Newsletter “Intent”. This is your 3x/month guide to purposeful living, wealth-building, and personal growth.

Happy Tuesday! I’m so excited to share this edition of Intent. Today’s topic is all about pure, raw friendships and how to create them. It’s about to get a little personal, so be ready for that.

First of all, I’ve got to say: I’m SO SORRY for not being able to write the entire month of June. Life’s been all sorts of crazy with yet another move, a new job, a new routine (that I’m still trying to figure out). I will be more consistent moving forward and I have so many great suggestions from all of you on topics you want to talk about. As always, this is a two-way street and I’d love to hear back from you (your thoughts, things you’ve been up to, reaction to this newsletter - I’m all ears)!

What I’m Sipping On This Month

As always, I’ve gotta share what I’ve been sipping on lately and as boring as it might sound, this one’s a classic for a reason: ginger, lemon, and honey tea.

Here’s why I keep coming back to it:
→ You probably already have all the ingredients at home.
→ Ginger is great for digestion and reducing inflammation. Just remember to boil it with the water to get all that flavor out.
→ Lemon gives your immune system a little kick and helps keep you hydrated, especially great in this California heat.
→ Honey soothes your throat and gives the whole thing that cozy, slightly sweet finish.

I’ve been drinking this more than any other tea lately. It’s simple, comforting, and brings me right back to life every time.

Loneliness Epidemic

I want to start by talking about the Loneliness Epidemic and how the least we can do is be better friends or at the very least be a better person for each other.

If you haven’t heard of the loneliness epidemic, here’s the online definition for context: an ongoing trend of loneliness and social isolation experienced by people across the globe. The increase may have begun in the 2010s and was exacerbated by the isolating effects of social distancing, stay-at-home orders, and deaths during the COVID-19 pandemic.

No, it’s not just a made up word, it’s real. In fact, studies show that chronic loneliness can be as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. (THAT’S CRAZY) And yet, so many of us walk through life feeling disconnected or unseen.

A lot of us have forgotten how to make friends as adults. Or we’ve convinced ourselves we’re too busy. That everyone already has their people. That reaching out would be weird, awkward or cringe. And that we don’t need anyone.

But here’s the thing: humans are biologically social creatures and for us to feel loved, heard, accepted, needed, and valued are important to our mental and physical being. If you think about it, this is deeply rooted in our evolution, humans have always travelled and thrived in groups.

So connection isn’t a luxury. It’s a human need. And sometimes the smallest efforts can make the biggest difference.

My History on Friendships

Here’s the thing: I’ve never been great at making friends. Not sure why, but it just never came naturally to me.

When I was younger, I was painfully shy.

In preschool, I’d hide behind my mom’s legs instead of playing with the other kids.

In elementary school, I had maybe two close friends, and it was because we were assigned to sit next to each other.

By middle school, the extroverts found me and pulled me into their orbit.

Then came high school… and I’m pretty sure it’s tough for most people. It definitely was for me. I’d just moved into this new city, knew no one, and walked into a school where everyone had basically known each other since they were born.

And then there was me… awkwardly trying to find my place as the new girl in this new chapter of my life surrounded by adolescent kids navigating the glorious mess of teenage angst. High school was brutal.

And then in college, I finally started finding my people. The ones who were a little sporty and a little nerdy just like me. The ones who were genuinely just good people.
It was the first time I felt like I could fully be myself.

And then came adulthood. Between COVID, moving around to different places, and navigating new jobs, I think I’ve finally started to figure it out.

And that’s what I want to talk to you all about today.

You ARE who you surround yourself with

You’ve probably all heard the quote: you are the summation of the 5 friends you surround yourself with. Over the years, I’ve kept coming back to this theme. First question I ask myself: “well, who do I want to be more like?” and second: “who are those people in my life right now?”. Those two questions really made me think deeply about my existing friendships. And then it all hit me:

1) It really matters to me that the people in my circle share the same core values. Loyal. Honest. Kind. Growth-minded. The kind of people who are open, good-hearted, and genuinely care about others, about the world, and about making an impact in their own way.
My favorite kind of friends? The ones who inspire me every single day.
Like Kaja, Mary, Rahul, Sarthak, and Isa who are all featured in my “Intent in Action” series. If you haven’t read their stories yet, go check them out!

2) If I wanted people to open up and show their real, true, authentic and wonderfully weird selves, I have to go and open up and show them my real, true authentic weird self first.
So in the first couple of times meeting them, I’d let out the ‘weirdness’ I’ve worked on my whole life hiding. Maybe show them a bit of my competitive side during games or tell them a bit of my really corny jokes, just to see how comfortable i feel with them and how that opens others to be their true full self in front of me.
And in doing that, I started to notice something deeper: Not everyone feels safe enough to be themselves. That fear of being judged, misunderstood, or rejected, is a big reason so many people feel lonely, even when they’re surrounded by others. (ask yourself: how can you make people feel more welcome?

How should we show up better for each other

So how do we actually show up better for each other?

  1. Cook dinner together / host a dinner party
    There’s a real spark when people come together to create something as simple as a meal. There’s just nothing like it; whether it’s breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Cooking and eating together taps into something primal. It lowers our guard and brings us back to our most human, most connected selves.

  2. Create something together
    The act of creating is already special but doing it with someone else? That’s magic. It doesn’t even have to be big. It’s just about making something, side by side.

  3. Workout together
    Bring a friend. Pick your favorite workout and share the joy. Moving together moves you closer plus you’re one step closer to your fitness goals

  4. Host more at home AND sit on the floor.
    Okay, this one’s niche. Maybe weird. But hear me out it’s about comfort.
    One of my friends calls it: floor friends.
    Who are the people you can sit on the floor with and just be? No formality. No performance. Just real, grounding connection.

  5. Try something new together
    Nothing bonds people like shared struggle. Sore legs after a ridiculous hike? Losing hard in pickleball? Completely bombing an escape room? That’s where the best stories and the best friendships are made.

  6. Be honest when you're off
    I used to hide how I was really feeling. Didn’t want to “ruin the vibe” or bring work stuff into a social hangout. But I’ve learned that being real creates deeper connection. Now I say it like it is:
    “Hey, sorry. Work was AWFUL today. I’m feeling super low, so if I’m quiet or a little off, that’s why. I’m so grateful to be here with you though.”
    That kind of honesty? It’s a bridge.

All of this has been a reminder for me that connection doesn’t have to be complicated.
It just has to be intentional.

Small acts, shared moments, a little effort. That’s what keeps loneliness at bay and brings us closer together.

I definitely don’t have all the answers and truthfully, I’m still working on building strong friendships myself (especially after my recent move back to California). But I knew I had to share what I’ve been learning along the way.

So here’s my one small challenge for you this week:
Who’s one person you could invite over for dinner?

Shoot them a quick text right now:
“Hey, just thinking of you. Want to come over for dinner and board games sometime this week?”

Trust me, it’ll make their day… and it might just make yours too.

Support My Work

Enjoying this newsletter? If you’d like to support my work, you can buy me tea. Your support means so much! Every cup helps fuel the ideas, research, and energy I put into each newsletter.

Thank you so much for being a part of the Intent community. I rely on word-of-mouth for growth. If you enjoyed this newsletter, I’d love for you to share it with a friend.
Your commitment to living with purpose is exactly why this space exists. Can’t wait to share more in the next edition!

Until next time,
Radhika
Creating a life of purpose, wealth, and growth

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